I am a trusting person. So much so that I get teased by my friends because it leads to some poor decisions. I like that I am trusting though. I know that it stems, ultimately, from my trust in God and His promise to care for me. But I have noticed a discord in that characteristic recently. When it comes to money, I don’t trust anyone but me (and my husband).

I am having a hard time giving up control to a general contractor for our remodeling project. I don’t trust that they have our best interest in mind or that they won’t help us try to find ways to keep costs down. And, ultimately, I am not trusting God that He has our best interest in mind and that He will provide what we need (again, it just may not be what I think we need).

Instead, I lay awake at night with a pit in my stomach, going through every line item to find ways to save money, and trying to get 2 + 2 to equal 3 so we can afford everything we (well, I) want.

Thankfully, I see the error of my ways and am asking for God’s help in taking this burden from me:

“Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24

A day at the park! Charlie was having a great time going down the slide and copying his big sister. Once in a while he managed his own version of “Look at me!” Isn’t he studly in those shades? About those … they are Cars sunglasses, featuring, uh … Sally! Oops. I didn’t realize until we got them home. Anyway, they are no longer. Charlie broke them the other day, stretching them past their limit. Glad I got a few pics of him wearing ‘em because he was so excited. I’ll have to get him another pair; maybe I’ll get boys’ ones this time!

For more Wordless Wednesday entries: WordlessWednesday.com and 5 Minutes for Mom.

Not sure what I think about this: Huntley preschool has Messiah on the move.

I’m just not sold on the idea of embodying Jesus in a doll. Does it give children the wrong idea of who or what Jesus is? I love the idea of sending a doll around the country though, it’s a great way for the kids to learn. I also know Jesus’ omnipresence is a hard concept to grasp so I understand the need to try to put Him in a box. But, that will be all the harder to “undo” as the children get older. Beth Moore once said in her Believing God Bible study, “If you send your children to [a Christian] school to learn a little something about God, they might learn that God is a little something.” My point is, no matter where your children are being educated, be sure you are involved so that you can be involved in their education and their spiritual growth.

Our Bible study discussion was derailed the past couple weeks as we discussed a tangent on idols. Even as Christians we tend to make idols of seemingly good things, such as Jesus dolls, the Bible or becoming like Christ. We have this tendency because our human nature wants to be in control. We obsess about, “what can I do?” and end up in a self-help mentality instead of focusing on Jesus has already done for us. If we rely on our knowledge, our action, ourselves, we lose the necessity of Christ in our lives. Our goal instead should be simply to know God and let him do the rest. Strive to be yourself, who God created you to be, in Christ Jesus.

To continue with the thoughts on contentment in my previous post …

No matter what it is that we want, as soon as we get it, we want something else. I knew this was going to happen but I didn’t realize it would take place so quickly. We haven’t even started demolition on the kitchen yet, but in my mind I’ve already moved on to other projects. The kitchen now is the least of my concerns. It has to get done; it’s going to get done. There is other work that I keep trying to lump into this project because suddenly it NEEDS to be done … NOW. The kitchen is not enough anymore. As we’ve discussed other plans, I’ve become excited about the potential extra space and comfort, including an upstairs addition–a third bedroom for us so the kids don’t have to share anymore (a legitimate request but not a neccesity yet), remodeled porch (well, it IS rotting) and a breezeway for the front entrance (so we don’t have to worry about hitting the dining room chairs when we open the door). Of course, nothing comes cheap. It has become a problem because my husband keeps injecting this reality into my fantasy! Did I mention we haven’t even started yet?

McDonald writes in Lord, Change My Attitude: Before Its Too Late: “When desires for something are controlling you, you lose your capacity to discern sufficiency.” The more you get, the more you want. Before we had begun the process of remodeling the kitchen, I hadn’t once thought that we needed a breezeway (I thought only of a new kitchen and how wonderful life would be!). Now, I know I’m going to be disappointed, a little or a lot I am not sure, when I don’t get one. I’m not saying the desires I have are bad or sinful, but my attitude can be. What am I living for? In the end, I know I want what’s best for our family. I can trust that God does, too. So, I simply need to rely on Him for what we need and let Him be in control of what’s sufficient for us. It may not be the same as my plan. But it will be the best plan for me and my family. That will always be enough.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:12

We were leaving after a play date with good friends this morning and my friend’s son wanted to come home with us. My daughter asked, “Why?”

Avery: Because I have a lot of toys?
Mom: No, because you are his friend and he likes to spend time with you.
Avery: But I do have a lot of toys.
Mom: Yes, and toys are fun. But they are not what makes you special.

As I said it, I knew I needed to hear it, too. Sometimes we forget we are not defined by our stuff! 

I’m reading James MacDonald’s Lord, Change My Attitude: Before Its Too Late, specifically two chapters on covetousness and contenment. As he writes, “we are far more infected with materialism than we realize, and some of the worst victims are the ones who think they are living in victory.” Whether you want the wrong things, the right things at the wrong time or in the wrong amounts or for the wrong reasons, it’s all covetousness. It has a strong hold on all of us. When you covet something and dwell on it, you make it more attractive and accessible than it really is, simply because you want it. Do you want it more than God’s blessing? The Israelites wandering in the desert asked for meat instead of the provision of manna. They got what they wanted but God withdrew Himself. Is it possible that covetousness–even when the desire fulfilled–has actually gotten in the way of your pursuit for greater joy and blessing in your life?


Psalm 106:15 “He gave them their request, but sent leanness to their soul.”

Our old cat has become my daughter’s best friend. She has to have her in bed for naps or at bed time, so I couldn’t help but snap this pic when I walked in one morning to Avery petting her. One of the first times this happened, the cat was laying across the bed right below her pillow. I offered to move her and Avery said, “It’s okay. There’s room.” And she squeezed between the cat and the wall. It was quite precious. Now, it has become a bit of a problem though as she begins to rely on the cat being there. The past two nights, Avery has come into our bed because, she says, it’s scary and the kitty’s not with her.

PS Yes, that is her sleeping bag on top of her. She has slept with it for the past month or so!

For more Wordless Wednesday entries: WordlessWednesday.com and 5 Minutes for Mom.

A few days ago, I was pulling weeds from the side of the yard where the grass meets the trail line, putting them in a pile so I could dispose of them later. Avery was “helping” by pulling leaves from the weeds and nearby trees and throwing them into the air.

Avery: Don’t make a pile! You have to throw them to heaven.
Mom: Well, that’s a good idea. But I don’t think there are weeds in heaven.
Avery: Just pretend!
Mom: Ok. [Pause] Where is heaven?
Avery: [Points to the sky]
Mom: And, who IS in heaven?
Avery: Jesus!
Mom: That’s right. Who else?
Avery: Joseph.
Mom: [Suprised] Yes! Jesus’ daddy is in heaven. Anyone else?
Avery: [Pensive] Just Jesus. Just Jesus is in heaven!
Mom: Nobody else? But we can go to heaven, right?
Avery: [Very enthusiastically] Yes!
Mom: How do we get to heaven?
Avery: [Twirling around with arms stretched up as high as she can] We have to fly there!

Charlie’s first words:
1. Mama, now mom-meeeee. Which he uses for every-thing!
2. No. His second most used word. Sigh. Also means yes.
3. Hi! Added with a wave and big smile for extra cuteness. Bye and Nigh’ also have waves and unfortunately both sound like “Hi.” As does “ni-ie” for nice, which he uses while petting whatever he’s supposed to be gentle with.
4. P’eas! Usually with a lot of empahsis: pah-eeeeeeeeas. Unfortunately, this word has digressed into “deeeeeeas.” Includes a sign with one or two hands, depending on how desperate he is.
5. Kitty. Always excited to see the cat.
6. Puppy. Very excited to talk about and see dogs, until they are too close!
7. Owie and Owp, for help. They sound very similar so context is helpful here! Also, owp usually is followed by p’eeeas.
8. Hado. This one is only understandable in context: hot dog.
9. Pobo. Same with pretzel.
10. Popo. If I ask whether he’s got a poopy diaper, he’ll pat it and very softely say “popo.”
11. Daddy. He knows it but he rarely uses it. We’re both mommy.
12. Nani. Yesterday for the first time he called Avery Avee, otherwise it’s usually Nani, which is what he calls anyone except his mama(s). Not to be confused with nandy, a recent addition to his vocabulary for candy.
13. Car. His newest word is a very clear “car.” He can’t get enough! He points to every one we pass in the parking lot and proclaims: Car!

I was at the library today and happened upon a section of books called “Bible stories.” This makes sense and I was glad to find it. BUT, I thought it was odd that Christmas, Easter and other Biblically based holiday story books were there and not with the books on the other side of the room that were grouped by holidays, including Christmas and Easter (as well as Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving and Halloween).

I remember both at Easter and Christmas rummaging through the books looking for stories that weren’t about bunnies and candy, Santa Claus and gifts (and not finding them!). So, now that I know somebody has done the work for me, I don’t mind. But it does make it difficult for people in general to stumble upon a variety of perspectives on the holidays. I guess that’s probably the goal. We wouldn’t want to offend anyone who doesn’t want God or the Bible to have anything to do with our special occasions!

I awoke last night to Charlie crying in his room. I was physically exhausted from working in the yard all weekend so it took me a while to realize what the “noise” was and to wake up enough to realize I better go check on him. I had shifted him a few times before I went to bed because his legs were dangling off the side, so I knew there was a possibility he had fallen out of his toddler bed. Finally, half asleep, I staggered down the hall. When I got to their dimly lit room, I couldn’t find him anywhere! I was squinting and searching. He definitely wasn’t in his bed. There was one of his blankets on the floor and I touched it like three times thinking it must be him … but it wasn’t. But I could hear him. He was sobbing, and I was thoroughly confused.

I finally looked under his bed, and there he was. The poor little guy was stuck underneath! I seriously don’t know how he got there, but he must have fallen between the wall and the bed. Although it’s possible he fell, then rolled underneath and just kept rolling. I had to wake Matt up to move the bed while I pulled him out (the bed’s only a few inches high). After some comforting, he was fine and ready to go back to sleep. He had a large stuffed animal taking up quite a bit of space at the top where the rails were so I removed them. I spent the rest of the night with bad dreams induced by anxiety. But he’s fine and I think we took care of the problem.

My son is almost 20-months-old now, and he seemed to be too big for the crib. Not only does he attempt to climb out of it once in a while, but my duaghter would get in there with him becuase she thought it was cozy, and keep them both from napping. We were planning to get him a twin-size mattress and put it on the floor, like we did for Avery, but a friend offered her toddler bed instead. It was a perfect solution, because he is still a bit young and space is tight since the kids are sharing a room (and it delays the cost of a new mattress until after we do the home improvement projects this year).

Anyway, Charlie did great. The first night I had to put him back in his bed a few times as he crawled out. But, I have a big sister helping make sure he knows where he’s supposed to be. :)

As I mentioned in a previous post, I am swapping services with interior designer Tricia Nicole Parker, so we met again this week for a kitchen design consultation. I wasn’t excited about the colors we chose (once I hung the larger swatches on the wall) so we went through some other options. I’m looking now at a softer yellow called Blonde (how fitting!), even though what I thought I didn’t like about the previous “gold” choice was that it was too yellow. Go figure. I also decided definitely on the less yellow counter (Light Brown instead of Gold Brown). They both have some yellow in it but the Gold Brown looked dated, like it had yellowed over time (especially next to any of the yellow wall colors), exactly the look I DON’T want; the Light Brown had more white and looked more refreshing and “new.”

Golden oak floors, classic cherry cabinets, Blonde walls and Light Brown Mojave Corinthian counters (Menards)

From Continued Good News on Teen Pregnancy and Abortion by Janice Shaw Crouse: