Sunday afternoon, we headed outside to play in the leaves (after we raked them up of course). The kids had a great time.

I dare say it’s more acceptable to say “Happy Halloween” these days than “Merry Christmas!”

The woman who sat next to me at church on Sunday was wearing an orange sweater with jack-o-lanterns on it. Nothing evil or offensive, obviously, but it bothered me. It did. It just proves to me how acceptable Halloween has become even among Christians. I know only a handful of people who, like me, have opted not to celebrate.

I am trying to figure out how in the world Halloween became so popular. It seems to have surpassed other holidays, except Christmas–for now, in terms of decorating and parties. I have a few friends, some Christians, who would say it’s their favorite holiday. It would be better if there was any chance of celebrating “All Hallow’s Eve” instead, but any Christian elements of the celebration have been forgotten.

No matter whether you think Halloween is a religious or secular holiday, its growing popularity may be an indication of the decreasing relevance of Christianity in our society today. A sad statement considering Christianity is supposedly still the world’s largest religion. I am not, although I know you may find it hard to believe, judging those who do participate. I completely understand how much you want your children to have fun, especially if you grew up with great memories of trick-or-treating as a kid. It is exciting and the kids enjoy dressing up. And for the majority, it is harmless. I am just disappointed that there seem to be so few Christians who are willing to take a stand and be different. Part of the reason we don’t celebrate Halloween at our house is quite simply because it is “weird.” This is one obvious way that we as Christians truly can be “aliens” in this world. So, we choose to put our light on a stand, instead of a hallowed out pumpkin.

“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.” Matthew 5:14-15

See also Aw, isn’t that cute? Or is it?

“Non-sexual touch is an oxymoron.”

One of my favorite things in the entire world is massage. This “touch” can range from playing with my hair to neck effleurage to a full-on Swedish back massage. With sitting at the computer, holding my kids, playing on the floor and washing dishes as part of my daily routine, my upper back and shoulders are so extremely tight all the time. But it is nearly impossible to get my husband to give my muscles any attention. I know I am not alone. This seems to be a hot topic among many married women. Why is that?

According to our pastor, 80% of touch should be non-sexual. And women need non-sexual touch 8 times a day. Sorry, this does not include butt slaps and boob grabs. Unfortunately for my husband, who tried yesterday to be aware of his touch after the Sunday message, I barely noticed. I think the problem here is that it’s not a magical mathmatical formula. Touch is part of creating a healthy environment where we feel loved and cherished.

But I will say, massage scores big points with me, and I can’t imagine it not leading to more sex (although my husband feels otherwise). That being said, do you think I’ll get a massage tonight? Not likely. Even if I directly request it, he somehow is able to avoid the task and the subject. He’s like a magician that makes unwanted requests disappear into thin air, because I don’t even realize it happens until it’s too late and he’s fast asleep. This wasn’t the case last night, so I am not sure why I am thinking about it now. But I guess if a guy can think about sex every 17 seconds, I can dream about massages a couple times a day!

“Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life.” 1 Peter 3:7

See also Lies men believe.

My son loves to make me laugh. He’s 14 months and he has the makings of a real comedian.  It’s mostly slapstick, of course.

Yesterday, my husband put an extra-large straw hat on him and called me from the other room to see. I laughed, then went back to the kitchen to wash dishes. A bit later, I turned around, and there was Charlie in the doorway with the same hat and a near-deadpan expression except for the gleam in his eye. So, I laughed again and turned around to continue with my chore. Not another minute later, I turn around again and he had toddled even closer, just waiting for me to laugh again. He gave me a big grin only after I laughed for him.

It also reminds me of a time when he was just learning to walk at 11 months or so. He had fallen onto his bottom on the rug in our living room. I laughed pretty heartily when he looked at me, trying to ensure that he wouldn’t cry when I knew he wasn’t hurt. He got up and fell down over and over again, probably six more times. My laugh became more and more genuine with each one because he took so much pleasure in making me smile.

And now there is also the new trick Avery taught him: slapping himself on the head. He just knows this is hilarious. I knew there was a reason we call him Chuckles …

Have you ever had one of those days when everywhere you go everything just stinks? I am having one of those days today. It smells like a sewer in the basement. The kitchen reeks of sour, rotten milk. The kids room always has a hint of pee, and very unfortunately, I smell cat poop in the living room. And our room stinks of smelly socks and feet! Makes me think, what smells will there be in heaven?

I made the realization some time ago that my anger and frustration as a mom stems primarily from my attempt to be in control—or the belief that I have to be in control—and feeling that I’m losing it. I’m a perfectionist, so I self-impose deadlines and standards that I can’t possibly meet. When I just let go, there is so much less stress. But that is so much easier said than done.My homework for this week for anger management is to assess at whom or what my anger is most frequently directed. Fortunately for most people around me, I am the primary target. But people who aren’t cooperating with my perfectionist standards are collateral at times. This includes my kids and even God. Why is it always those we love the most have to endure the worst treatment?

Here is an easy, cheap project you can do with your preschoolers that you can tailor to any season or event. Beforehand, I cut out pictures from magazines (lots of them so she can choose which to use).  I wrote her name on a piece of 11×14 posterboard. Then I let her use a glue stick to adhere them to the posterboard. You can use stickers but I think Avery’s favorite part was the glue, once we taught her that it wasn’t to paint with (although that works, too, if she puts glue on the posterboard then sticks the magazine cut-outs on top). When done, take a roll of contact paper to carefully cover it. Be sure to cut it, leaving an inch or so around the edge to secure it.

I let Avery do everything but the contact paper (if the glue is not perfect it’s okay because the contact paper will help hold everything together). I am amazed by parents who take over in projects like this so that they will be “perfect.” But, this is a great project you can do just for fun that they can have complete creative control. Who cares if the pictures are on top of each other or upside down? My daughter was so proud of her placemat when she was finished.

This Family Fun Friday was inspired by my friend Heather who did this at a Harvest party last year.

I really am not a fan of Halloween. The decorations are just plain ugly. And am I the only woman on the face of the earth who doesn’t think babies in a [insert your favorite cuddly creature here] costume is not the cutest thing I have ever seen? There was a “parade” of kids during a story time at the library this week while Charlie and I were playing in the kids’ books section. Parents who were watching were “ohhing” and “ahhing” over each one, and I just didn’t get it. Their little cheeky faces would be peaking out the round face hole, while the rest of their body is covered in a pajama-like fuzzy outfit, maybe with a tail. They don’t even smile! It’s a teddy bear with a human face … kinda silly. I can, however, appreciate an adorable home-made costume. If it’s clever and unique, you deserve some credit.

Pre-schoolers, on the other hand, are adorable. They are so excited to be their favorite princess, super hero or cartoon character. They really get into it; they can play a role to act out who they want to be.

But then there’s the whole idea of going door-to-door for candy. My kids get enough candy as it is from grandparents and parades and parties. And after years–or months in my case–of training kids not to take candy from strangers isn’t it a bit odd to tell them to knock on the doors of everyone we know–and even those we don’t know–to beg for some? I have a great time handing out candy, but I really have no interest in walking around the neighborhood asking others’ for theirs. I know it will be more difficult each year to avoid being involved in this part of the celebration, but, so far, Avery is very excited about passing out the candy to kids who come to us.

We are fortunate to have my husband’s parents provide the candy–full-sized bars left over from summer camp–so our house is popular. I print out a couple verses in a ghoulish font and tape them to the front. It’s a great way to be a subtle witness without being self-righteous. Some of my favorites (from last year and this year):

The LORD himself will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:8

“Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:6

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Even youths grow tired and weary … but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. Isaiah 41:30-31

As much as we try to make it otherwise, I believe Halloween is a holiday incompatible with the Christian faith because of it’s pagan origins. Saying it’s “just for fun” or “harmless” even though that may be true for most, waters down the true meaning of any holiday. There is evidence that darker practices persist, and while as an adult I may be fully aware that the majority of us is only spoofing witches and ghosts, my children may not be so sure. What am I teaching them by conforming to the world “because it’s fun”? So, in this case, I’ll err on the side of caution.

“Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
I Corinthians 10:31

See also Halloween.

I had the kids bathed and dressed, except Charlie’s shoes, and hair cut for his one-year pictures. But while I was on the hunt for the matching shoes–which I never did find, he climbed the stool in the kitchen and bonked his head on the hardwood floor. A huge bump on his head! *sigh* Had to take the pictures anyway (it’s just as well, this is what he looks like most of the time so it’s true to history)! You can see how cooperative he was, too.

I love Tuesdays. Tuesday is my favorite day of the week. Every Tuesday I drop Avery off at Awana, called Cubbies for preschoolers, from 9:30 to 11am. It’s just long enough for Charlie and me to run a few quick errands with little stress then go to the library to play together. He doesn’t get nearly enough one-on-one play time.

But what I love most is the opportunity it provides for me to talk with my daughter about God, learn verses together and get ideas on how to connect spiritually throughout the week. In addition, my daughter learns independence. And she plays with kids we don’t normally see and gets to do activities we don’t often do at home. She always says, “I had fun!” and is excited afterward. And it’s not like she’s attached to my hip, but Avery is not comfortable around people she doesn’t know–not that that’s a totally bad thing! But, this was a good environment to stretch her social skills.

If you are not familiar with Awana, it’s a children’s ministry that helps local churches reach children with the gospel and train them to know, love and serve Jesus Christ. They do crafts, sing songs, play games and learn. It is organized so well. I love how Avery is engaged as soon as we arrive. She has to put her book in her group’s colored bin (blue), then they give her a sticker to place on the oversized attendance chart by her name. By the time we get to the room where the craft is set up, which Avery loves, she has completely forgotten about me. Over the past four weeks, she evolved to this from a whiney “Hold you!” The first week, she was a little worried even as we were in the car before we arrived. She asked if I was going to be with her, then she wondered if Charlie could stay with her to play. “But, no, babies aren’t allowed! It’s for big kids only.” I said. That seemed to help.

You can find churches in your area that have Awana at www.awana.org. They are open to the community, so you don’t have to be a member or even attend a church (although sometimes there is limited space available). The programs range in age from 2 to 12, depending on the church. I take Avery to Fox Valley, which is not my church, because Springbrook offers Awana for K-5th grade on Wednesday nights, great for school-aged kids. I, for one, love the break during the day, and so does she.

It’s no secret we women want it all: cosmetics that feel good, look great and last long. Oh, and it’s got to be good for the skin, too. Sound impossible? Not with the emergence of two-in-one treatment makeup that allows you to enjoy the benefits of powerful skin care active ingredients within color cosmetics.

The trend is driven by two major preoccupations in the cosmetics market: anti-aging and naturals. As we pay more attention to what we put on our faces, brands are challenged to create increasingly sophisticated products to meet all our needs.

Tarte’s Inside Out vitamin-infused lipsticks, launched at Henri Bendel and Bergdorf Goodman in August, are “powered by Borba’s age-defying nutraceuticals” to beautify lips from the inside out. Nutraceuticals are natural, bioactive chemical compounds that have health-promoting, disease-preventing or medicinal properties. Feeding your skin by topical application is a natural way to fight the everyday environmental elements—and, thus, free radical damage.

Tarte developed a gel-based outer core to deliver long-lasting pigment coverage and formed the inner core to contain the nutrients, according to Heather Ratushny, Tarte senior manager of product development. The nutraceutical cocktail core features: acai and green tea extract to strengthen capillary walls and lychee extract to promote long-term skin hydration. The formulating team also clinically tested the formula, finding that the antioxidants, vitamins and minerals in the lipstick can help diminish the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. Tarte also is launching Double Dose high-shine gloss for spring 2008 with a nutraceutical core comprising a blend of the five active superfruits: goji, acai, coffee berry, noni and bilberry. The brand also is launching a new natural cheek stain for fall that has the same berry complex and two shades swirled together to give color and highlighting effects.The concept of inner and outer beauty is not new. We are seeing more ingestible ingredients from the nutraceutical market moving into topical products every day. As science plays a bigger role in bringing cutting-edge technology to your makeup bag, you can feel even better about what you put on your face.

Read more about it in GCI magazine’s November issue.

I ran a 5k today (that’s 3.1 miles for you non-runners). I haven’t run in a couple months, and I haven’t run a 5k since before the Chicago Marathon in 2002. I thought my lungs were going to explode or that I might just drop right to the ground. I was amazed, however, at what I was able to accomplish just to finish. The body is a miraculous thing. Every time I run, I am in awe of the human body and how perfectly we were formed.

Anyway, during the race, people were passing me left and right. I don’t know where they came from because I was toward the back of the running pack I thought! Finally, I came up on two young women who had slowed to a walk. I gleefully passed them, only to have them jogging past me again. I groaned, “Oh, come on! I finally passed someone.” They retorted that I had  motivated them. I guess they didn’t want an “old lady” passing them up. Thankfully, I had the last laugh. I had another chance to catch them, just two minutes from the finish (which was all up hill by the way! Who does that?). I wasn’t gonna let them leave me in the dust this time! My lungs were burning right through my chest and my legs weak as rubber by then. But I was determined to stay with them, so I picked it up just enough to  cross the finish line seconds in front of them. Ah, it felt good! I thanked them afterward for motivating me! Without them, I never would have finished at exactly 31 minutes. Yikes, I am getting old.

But I was there for a good reason, to support Kara Wherry and her two little ones. Her husband–a runner–died while they were on vacation in Texas this summer, and the event served as a fundraiser for the family and a memorial to him. For that reason, I was happy to put my body through the pain and torture. And, now that I am done, I can look back and feel good physically and emotionally about it … right after a Saturday afternoon snooze.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

Here’s a chance for you to help out breast cancer research and get some early Christmas shopping done. A friend of mine sells Lia Sophia jewelry, and for the months of October ad November, she is donating 50% of her commission to the Susan G. Koman Foundation for breast cancer research. Plus, if you purchase 2 items you get 4 additional items half-off (the most expensive pieces). She is also offering free shipping and $10 off your oder.

Of course, she’s always looking for party hostesses, too, and has some great deals for you if you are interested.

For more information or to check out the new catalog, you can visit her web site www.liasophia.com/mross. You can also make a purchase online by entering “Michelle Ross” as hostess.

I’m a screamer. I slam doors, I grunt and groan, I yell. It’s a flash temper that arises mostly when I am hot, frustrated, sad or tired. But it can get pretty ugly, and it’s all really very embarrassing if I think about it. Now that I have little ones, there is a new dimension to the problem as well. I do not want my anger to get in the way of our relationship, and I don’t want them to model their behavior after mine!

I’ve done my best to be a “supermom” and to appear to be one. But, we’ve all got our imperfections, and the harder I strive toward perfection on my own, the more my weakness seems to rear its ugly head.

However, God wants us to find solutions to our problems (I Corinthians 10:13), and I am taking the first steps to managing my anger in a healthy, Biblical way. One of the women from our large group Bible study who I have served along side has offered to provide free Biblical counseling. I am very excited because not only do I greatly respect this woman, but it’s free! You can’t beat the price.

I think counseling in some form would be ideal for every mom, whether you can find a trained professional to meet with you formally or if you have a mentor or support group of women in whom you can confide. Let me repeat that I did say “confide” and not “complain.” Most churches offer Bible studies or small groups for women—even moms specifically—that provide an environment where you can be open and honest about your struggles as a wife, a mother or a woman, and likely find someone who has been through or is going through the same difficulties.

If you do consider professional counseling, let me encourage you to find someone through your church or something like The Biblical Counseling Center. Secular psychologists may be able to help you temporarily, but the permanent solution is truth that will lead to a heart change. God gives us a model for just such a change; the Holy Spirit uses the Word of God to change us from the inside.

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction for instruction in righteousness; That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.” 2 Tim 3:16,17

My 3-year-old pulled her first prank today. At least, it was the first time she intentionally deceived me for the sake of being funny … and she got me.

The cat pooped on the rug in our living room. This happens sometimes, and, yes, it’s gross. She’s old. Anyway, I had cleaned it up and was in the bathroom washing my hands when Avery called out from the living room: “There’s one more!”

Exasperated, but not surprised, I grabbed another paper towel and prepared to do more clean up. When I walked into Avery’s line of sight, she was holding it in her hand, waving her arm in the air, saying again, “There’s one more!” I was about to cry out in sheer horror when I got a little closer and realized she was holding a pickle from her play food set. She had a huge smile on her face. I chased her around the room and tickled her as punishment. It was pretty funny.

(I realize the fact that I felt the need to write “It was pretty funny.” means your probably not laughing, but I’ll take my chances.)

“Sarah said, ‘God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.’ ” Genesis 21:6