After the first six weeks, you probably got into the swing of things with your new baby. But a lot of new moms struggle with getting their babies to sleep, whether it’s during the day or night. This means mom is usually pretty tired, too. I was just e-mailing with a fellow freelancer about her new baby and thought I would share the tips I found myself writing her.

My number one tip for new moms: work on getting baby to nap on a regular schedule. And take naps to recover yourself for now, but eventually you’ll have to break that cycle. Once I realized I didn’t WANT to take naps almost every day, I found I wasn’t needing them as much (they are addicting, so your body adjusts). My kids’ nap time becomes the most productive part of the day when I am not sleeping, especially if I want to get writing done. Some people function better without a schedule, but not me. I need predictability!

With my kids, we followed On Becoming Baby Wise, so I recommend this reading to all new (and not so new) moms. I wasn’t as strict as the book called for but I used it as a guideline. My kids were sleeping through the night by 6 months and were on a fleixble but firm napping schedule (not perfect, mind you, but it was predictible).

I decided when and how long the naps were going to be (with some guidance from the baby of course). Say, 9-ish and 1-ish, for no less than an hour. I’d put them in the crib and leave them for an hour (or later if they are sleeping, obviously, but I would wake them if they went past 3 hours when they were still on two naps a day). For only a couple days, they’d cry, but soon they realize it’s pointless–if you are consistent. If they don’t want to sleep, they play (but that rarely happens once they figure out the routine and they need the nap because they’ve been trained to).

Without a schedule, moms are often reacting to the first signs of being tired, which means it is probably too late, the baby’s overtired so she’s going to put up a fight. And she’s training you to come when she cries. You want to pre-empt the signs and put her down when she seems awake. Then only pick her up if she’s not crying. Sometimes that means just waiting until she’s taking a deep breath or a 5-second break in crying as she’s winding up for more. Hover outside her door until she seems to calm down and quickly step in. She’ll figure it out soon enough. Then you can pick up a happy baby. So much better! Make sense? No, it probably doesn’t, but it works!

It can be difficult to have a schedule when baby wakes up at different times each morning. So, set a morning wake time (and regular bed time). If she’s never up earlier than 6:30, wake her up on days that she sleeps later than that. Then you can set the nap times. I know, I know, it’s easier said than done, especially when you need that sleep ,too. In the long run though, life is so much easier. If your baby tends to wake up before 6:30, yikes! Anything before 6:30 is unacceptable for me. I just can’t function! But I’ve been there. What you can try is to start with a time that you know she can do but that will stretch her some days. Say 5:30 if she wakes up between 5 and 5:30 most mornings, and just don’t pick her up before 5:30. Then slowly increase the time by 10 or 15 minute increments after a few days or weeks, depending on how its going and how badly you want the sleep!

“He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.” Mark 16:16.

Because I believe it’s not baptism that “saves” us based on Romans 10:9-10, I have stumbled over this verse in the past and it came up in our Bible study two weeks ago. I finally took the time to research some answers.

The original Greek word used in this context is “baptizo” (Lifeway’s Greek Strong’s Number 907) which means 1) to dip repeatedly, to immerse, to submerge; 2) to cleanse by dipping or submerging, to wash, to make clean with water, to wash one’s self, bathe; 3) to overwhelm.

But this is not to be confused with “bapto” (Lifeway’s Greek Strong’s Number 911), which means 1) to dip, dip in, immerse; 2) to dip into dye, to dye, color.

There’s a subtle difference that is explained in a text from the Greek poet and physician Nicander (200 BC) within an article by James Montgomery Boice in the May 1989 issue of Bible Study Magazine.

With the gift-giving season fast approaching, I was inspired by John Rosemond’s New Parent Power! book to reduce and rethink my approach to toys. He writes, “Today, we overdose [kids] with mass-produced toys that stimulate relatively little imaginative thought.” So, I am going to evaluate my kids’ toys for their play value: Does it require creativity? Can it be transformed from one thing to another? Does it encourage manipulation? If not, it’s gone! [This also works for evaluating which toys to buy for the kids on your Christmas list.]

I have always been selective with toys for my kids but I wasn’t really sure of the criteria I was looking for. Rosemond’s book really opened my eyes on how to keep toys to a minimum and, thus, actually have kids spend more time in independent play! It makes so much sense when you think about it.

I couldn’t believe how many toys we got for Charlie’s first birthday this fall. It seems that since he’s the second kid–and a boy–people were more apt to buy toys with bells and whistles, but they were one-dimensional. Both my kids were impressed with the toys at first, but within a couple weeks, they were “done” because they had quickly exhausted all the creative possibilities. 

Rosemond writes that kids are overwhelmed by all their toys and become bored with them precisely because they have so many. I saw this first-hand with the pile of toys that began to take over our living room. I had never seen Avery so “bored” and requesting tv as she was the past couple months. I attributed it to her age and to my weakening resolve not to watch tv (which is probably partly to blame, too) until I read this book.

Today’s toys often do only one thing, which limits kids’ ability to use imagination and creativity. And instead of solving the problem, parents continue to buy new toys to satisfy their boredom, which makes the problem worse. Did you know that, according to Rosemond, many toy companies make toys with puropsefully–and profitably–short life spans because the average American child is a toy addict? Rosemond continues, “Why make toys that last when the average child is more concerned with getting than with the quality of what’s gotten? Most toys are designed to attract a child’s attention and curiousity but not to hold his or her interest.” This is why children lose interest in most toys really quickly.

Rosemond recommends instead: Legos, Lincoln Logs, Tinker Toys, Erector sets, art materials, dolls, blocks, trains, cars, small plastic figures, books and other “classic” toys that stand the test of time. These are the kinds of toys I am putting on my kids’ Christmas list … as soon as I go through their many other toys that have long been forgotten! Part of the process also will be to reorganize the toys that we keep. This will likely take many Tuesdays between now and next year because it requires reorganizing the office and closet, but just to minimize the number of toys will make a huge difference.  

Read more Tacke it Tuesday entries at 5 Minutes for Mom.

Lest anyone think we have it all together at this old house (though I could scour the earth and not find a single person who thinks that I suppose), here is a list of our unfinished household projects:

A sinkful of dirty dishes–I list this only because it is the case most every day! 

Scrapbooking–I am stuck on my daughter’s second birthday, my son is about 8 months, and in my own scrapbook, I’m not even four years old yet!

Exterior painting–We started this project when we moved in five years ago. One area above the front porch and all of the back porch hasn’t even been scraped and primed yet.

New windows–We replaced the glass in our three bay windows but have yet to do the other 10 leaky windows.

Downstairs bathroom–We remodeled this room last winter but it is missing floor and custom door trim.

Upstairs bathroom–We remodeled this room three summers ago and it also still needs the custom trim on the floor, door and window, as well as some tile that needs to be laid once that trim is in.

Refinish the wood floors–When we moved in, we refinished the office with the plan to do the rest of the first floor, but it hasn’t happened yet.

We exchanged some gifts with my sister’s family when they came for Thanksgiving. We didn’t open them, we just wanted to save on shipping … And have a deadline that forced us to get some of the shopping done early. Of course, once we spent the day setting up the Christmas tree and other decorations on the weekend, Avery was ready to open her gifts. I had a difficult time turning down her repeated advances. Wouldn’t it be fun to open just one gift? After all, I was curious what was under the wrapping, too. But my husband was firm. And rightly so … We should wait. Christmas is a long way off still, so I was thankful she hasn’t asked about the gifts today.

Today’s society is all about getting what you want when you want it. Everything is “fast-acting,” “instant” and at the “lowest price of the season” so it is increasingly difficult to model patience for our kids. But it is just as valuable a characteristic as always. Our pastor today defined maturity as “delaying pleasure even while enduring pain.” My daughter is not always going to get what she wants–from us or from the world or even from God. I want her to learn to live by God’s will and timing and not her own. She can’t do that if she is always getting her way. I still have a lot of work to do in this area myself, but by taking opportunities to teach our kids patience, we can impact them spiritually in a positive way. Just wait.

“The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.” Ecclesiastes 7:8

I was moved by the following entry in Jesus Calling, Sarah Young’s daily devotional, written from the perspective of Jesus talking to us, so I am sharing part of it with you:

Obviously, wrapping presents is a great activity to get your kids involved in. They love the paper and ribbons and the general idea of gifts. My daughter finds it exciting, even if it’s not for her. It’s a great idea to emphasize the giving of gifts during this season of what seems to them to be all about “getting.” To jazz up Christmas presents while getting my 3-year-old involved, I let her draw on the wrapping paper. I find solid-color, shiny red, green and gold (which works the best) paper so that her artwork shows. You have to use permanent marker, which is a special treat, although you have to be sure you trust your child with them (or watch closely)! She also has an assortment of stickers that she puts on them as well. I’ve seen a lot of white paper decorated, too, but the foil wrap adds a little something special to gifts that will be displayed under the tree.

Nov 1: Leftover Halloween candy
Nov 2: My kids being able to sleep anywhere
Nov 3: JC Penny sales and gift card credit
Nov 4: My husband!
Nov 5: Good friends who are neighbors
Nov 6: AWANA
Nov 7: Jumping in the leaves
Nov 8: My daughter putting away and cleaning up her Play-doh 
Nov 9: Game nights (even if I don’t win)
Nov 10: Leftovers!
Nov 11: A happy childhood with a loving family
Nov 12: A night to myself
Nov 13: My daughter learning to write her name (she’s so smart! :)
Nov 14: Weekly lunch with a friend
Nov 15: Finding a Christmas gift you know she’ll love
Nov 16: Two happy, healthy children
Nov 17: Grandma and grandpa coming to visit
Nov 18: A house that keeps me warm (most of the time)
Nov 19: Space heaters and fireplaces
Nov 20: The change in seasons
Nov 21: Lefse–and a fun Scandinavian heritage
Nov 22: Laughing with my sister

A few  years ago, I was listening to Family Life radio and heard Barbara Rainey being interviewed about her new book. I rarely am captivated enough to actually make a purchase, but this time I couldn’t resist. And I am glad I did! Thanksgiving: A Time to Remember is an excellent opportunity to enrich your family’s awareness of America’s uniquely Christian heritage. It seems there aren’t many historically accurate accounts when it comes to Christianity and faith in America anymore, but you can count on this one. You can read a little or a lot to impact your family of all ages … make it a new family tradition. Or simply put it on your coffee table as a conversation piece. I love this book!

Thanksgiving is a holiday for celebrating faith and family through the story of the Pilgrims’ biblical thankfulness during that first feast. It is a holiday rich with risk and excitement and blessing. Yet it often gets lost between Halloween and Christmas. I think Christians should try to reclaim it! It’s more than food and football (although that makes it great, too)! Anyway, take back what’s rightfully yours and read this book. It also comes with a CD of music suitable for Thanksgiving. I honestly haven’t even listened to it yet but I hope to put it on when we host this year.

One year ago today, my son had surgery for craniosynostosis. It seems like a lifetime ago. Since he was only 3-months-old at the time, I guess for him it nearly is!

At his two-month checkup, Charlie’s doctor expressed concern about the shape of his head (it was very long and narrow, like a newborn who just came down the birth canal). He suspected craniosynostosis, meaning a suture on his skull had prematurely closed. So, as his brain expanded, his head was growing lengthwise to make space. He needed surgery to open the suture so that it could grow all directions. It was not serious, mostly cosmetic, but it could cause problems if not taken care of and there’s too much pressure on the brain. Dr Ruge, one of the top ten neurosurgeons in the country we hear, confirmed that Charlie had saggital craniosynostosis in early November. We were both calm but concerned about his diagnosis. While the condition is uncommon, those who have it seem to have no problems with it after surgery. But surgery had to take place soon. We were very thankful that our initial appt with the neurosurgeon was moved up; it was originally scheduled for Nov 28. Praise God!

We arrived at Lutheran General hospital at 6am on the 20th, a Monday. Charlie handled everything well, but it was difficult for me to hand him off to the care of the nurses and doctors. He came out of surgery about 10am (a long wait for us!) and we were able to see him about a half-hour later. The doctor said that everything went well and he was progressing normally. We were so excited to see him! But he looked very sad in the little PICU hospital crib. I wanted so badly to hold him but he was more comfortable in the bed. His head and eyes were swollen, and he would cry when he’d try to open his eyes. We were able to go home on Wednesday late afternoon, so we were thankful not to have Thanksgiving dinner at the hospital. By then, he was looking so much better–not so puffy, and his eyes were completely open. He was finally smiling and in a good mood again. He really seemed glad to be home.

The surgery required an s-shaped incision along the top of his head (from front to back). We had to leave the bandages on for a while so he was looking a bit pathetic. We had several checkups but now we have to go just once a year around his birthday. The dr told us we didn’t need to treat him differently than any infant with a soft spot (it was just bigger than a usual newborn’s). So, we coddled him for about a month, then we worked hard to put him back on a schedule (this was a rough month or two because we wanted to spoil him and he was used to getting his own way). But now you would never know it. He is a delightful boy and I often forget about everything that we went through. He still has a scar but it is covered mostly by his hair–which is white-blonde! His head still isn’t perfectly round, but we are hoping it will continue to reshape as he grows. We are so thankful for all the people who were praying for Charlie and for us. Throughout the ordeal, God gave us “peace that surpasses all understanding.” People often commented “how well” we handled everything that was happening to our little boy. It is much scarier to think back at everything that happened (I mean, they cut my son’s head open!) and we’ve heard of not-so-successful stories since. So, sometimes it is harder for me to believe or deal with now than it was then. A true testament to God’s grace that he gives just what we need to handle whatever comes our way. My prayer for Charlie before, during and after surgery was rooted in Jeremiah 29:11.

I was at Menards today and I took a walk with the kids through the Christmas trees and decorations. The lights were dimmed and there was music playing in the background and fake snow on the floor. The trees were beautiful, of course, and it was fun. But there was one obsurdity that I don’t quite understand: an upside down Christmas tree (two of them to be exact). This is the second time I have seen such a thing and I still think it’s bizarre. It’s advertised to “Give you more space for presents.” But can that really be the only purpose? I wonder if there is more to it. Sheryl Karas, author of The Solstice Evergreen: The History, Folklore and Origins of the Christmas Tree, believes it’s purely a decorative thing, a way to better display ornaments so they don’t get lost in the foliage. But she suspects “there’s something sinister, almost bad, about it” because the shape of the tree is symbolic in that it points toward heaven.

The Christmas tree, topped with a star, is a central holiday decoration in the celebration of Jesus’ birth. From Christianity Magazine:

Santas in Sydney, Australia, have been asked to replace their traditional “ho, ho, ho!” greeting with “ha, ha, ha!” Read more on Yahoo! The reasons were that it’s offensive to women and could frighten small children. I don’t suppose the booming voice from a friendly male stranger in a bright red suit could have anything to do with it? But I suppose ha is better than hee hee, because that would just be plain creepy. Although I, for one, wouldn’t be appreciative of someone laughing at me. I think the Westaff training people better put additional guidlines on this. What if Santa starts to sound like Nelson from the Simpsons? That might bring tears to the eyes of a few kids.

Besides, there are a lot of things I could think of that are much more offensive to women than this. However, the news also begs the question: What about a new name for … Garden hoes?
Ho Hos?
Hooker Furniture?
Hooker Real Estate?

I choose. I can choose to be angry or joyful. I can choose to vent my anger, internalize it or release it. But in order to be transformed from my old self to the new self, I have to put off or stop the bad habits and put on or replace the good ones. This takes some work. Following a model for Biblical change, which requires repentance of the old behavior and obedience and faith, I now have a plan for being renewed in the spirit of mind. My goal is to apply the following verses and Biblical instruction to my life:

Ephesians 4:31 and Proverbs 16:32
Replace rage with patience and control

1 Corinthians 13:5 and Proverbs 19:11
Be slow to anger instead of easily angered

Proverbs 15:1 and Ephesians 4:29
Lift others up instead of using harsh words

Proverbs 29:11 and Galatians 5:23, Proverbs 25:28
Be controlled by the Spirit rather than venting anger

1 Corinthians 10:24, 13:5, Phil 2:3 and Isaiah 55:8
Follow God’s way and not my own way

I’ll be attempting to commit each of these verses to memory by writing them on index cards that I can recite–aloud–to write them on my heart. I can carry them with me or post them around the house, knowing that anything I pray within God’s will is already promised to me. He wants me to be victorious, and I can thank and praise Him in advance for that. What an awesome God!

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2

I am an inside-the-box thinker. I tend toward the obvious solution, the one most widely accepted or anticipated. My husband is most definitely an outside-the-box type. That’s what makes him a great engineer. But it also means he gets a lot of eye rolls from me for his ideas.

Not too long ago, he presented his next million-dollar idea. Because I am hearing impaired, I started watching television with the captions on, and now I am addicted. This makes going to the movies increasingly difficult. He suggested glasses that I could wear, somewhat akin to 3-D glasses, where I would be able to see captions displayed on the screen that wouldn’t have to interfere with other moviegoers views. “Ridiculous!” I thought, nobody is going to think that’s a good idea, although I might be willing to try it so that I could “hear” the conversations I often miss on the big screen. 

Not two weeks later, imagine my shock when I heard a  health news update on this very topic on a closed circuit tv while I was waiting at my doctor’s office (for a painstaking hour-plus, with the kids)! Microvision is developing what look like regular sunglasses that allow moviegoers to watch captions on the screen. While their proposal was exciting, it looks like a long period of R&D before their technology can come to fruition.

Long story short, I’m taking my husbands ideas more seriously. They may not be so bad after all!