Need I say more? For more Wordless Wednesday entries, visit WordlessWednesday.com and 5 Minutes for Mom.

We’re packing up to head to grandma’s house to celebrate Christ’s birth at Christmas, so I wanted to send a note to tide me over until I am thankfully rejoined with our computer!

I hope you enjoy the holidays with those you love. We are blessed with many things–though I sometimes forget: a beautiful but quirky home, a happy family, plenty to eat, clothes to wear, friends and neighbors to enjoy life with, and a God who loves us! Merry Christmas!

I had an “a-ha” moment yesterday when I realized I had finally had a real breakthrough in anger management. I have struggled this entire time about what it meant to “productively release energies of anger under control toward the problem” and not internalize (hold in) or externalize (blow up) my anger. God gave me a simple example and revealed the truth to me–days later. I am very excited!

One of my triggers is my daughter’s potty training. She was trained and has been trained but over the past several months has regressed. She cries the entire time we make her sit on the potty when we know she has to poop, and she often has accidents, mostly at night, when we aren’t forcing her to sit when we have suspicions that she has to go. My responses vary from “sigh. Whatever.” to whining and pleading to “Why? Why do you do this?” to getting very angry with her. None of which seemed to be helping the situation and probably were making it worse. Realizing I was allowing emotion to affect my reaction, I applied some guidelines from Shepherding Your Child’s Heart. Author Ted Tripp suggests a series of more productive questions, such as:

1. “What were you feeling when …”
2. “What happened that made you feel this way?”
3. “How else could you respond?” (I haven’t tried this one yet.)
4. ” How do you think your response reflected trust or lack of trust in God’s ability to provide for you?” (I also haven’t used this per se, but I turn it into a statement to address her feelings.)

You have to realize the first time I go to this part in his book and read number 1, I kind of rolled my eyes. I have never beena fan of “I feel” statements. But something clicked when I read all of them together. It made so much sense. So, one day when I knew she had to go, but before anything escalated, I got down to her level, looked her in the eyes, and asked: “How do you feel when you go poop on the potty?” She didn’t know how to respond so I prompted her with various feelings, firstpositive ones like “Is it fun?” She would say no until I asked if it was scary. She nodded her head. When I asked what was scary about it, she said something about falling in the potty (she was talking very softly). So, I explained that I understood it was a weird feeling to sit on the potty but that God wanted her to go poop on the potty, this is how He made your body and it’s good for you.

It hasn’t completely solved the problem of accidents so far, but with the few there have been, I have been able to react with love and understanding because of our intimate connection. I truly feel we are making progress, because she knows she doesn’t have to be afraid of my reaction. Instead of asking what her problem is everytime she’s whining on the potty, I can talk with her about her fears and remind her that God loves her and this is how God made her. Or something to that effect …

We had another incident just this morning where I applied the same questions. She was upset that I had gone upstairs without her, and she wanted me to come back and wait. I sat down on the stairs and asked, “How does it make you feel when I go upstairs without you?” She replied, sadly, “Sad.” Well, sure, that makes sense! So, I explained how she could  tell me, without screaming and crying, “It makes me sad when you don’t wait for me.” Then, of course, I reassured her by saying that God had chosen me to be her mom and I would never leave her, but if she’s ever sad, let me know with words. It diffused the situation right away. And as she grows older, she will be able to tell me anything, if I apply this to future encounters where I might normally have gotten emotional. Praise the Lord, I didn’t even realize it at the time, but I see now this is a perfect example of the Bible model for anger management.

I love this time of year when you get real mail! Letters from long-lost friends and family who are updating you on their year. Sometimes it’s the only time you hear from them. It’s exciting to get something besides bills once in a while. My favorite letters though are those that are more than a signed card or a letter bragging about how great someone’s kids are. If you are  looking for creative ways to send your Christmas cards this year, I’ve put together a few ideas. If you’ve tried something unique for your letter in the past, I want to hear about it! I am always looking for different ways of staying in touch in a creative way. I like the challenge of trying to write something true, engaging and succinct. Merry Christmas!

1. A newspaper. I wanted to send our cards via e-mail this year to save money. So, I tried to be more creative and include more pictures to make it worth the reader’s while, since I was clogging their inbox with a big file. I had a lot of fun with this one.
2. Photojournalism. Another great idea for an e-mail letter is writing a story with pictures. I suppose you could mail this, too, if you have a high-quality printer or don’t mind using a lot of  ink. Send humorous and serious candid or posed snapshots from the year that highlight your favorite moments. Keep captions short and sweet. My parents one year did a really cute page with three pictures: their wedding, them biking on a tandem (their favorite pastime), and a current snapshot, which was for a major anniversary. Captions read “What we think we look like.” “What we feel like.” And “What we really look like.” Simple.
3. Send a postcard. I bought the Avery post card weight perforated paper one year. I printed a picture on one side and a short review of the year on the other, with the appropriate spaces for address information. Saved us some money on stamps and envelopes.
4. A letter from your child. This works especially well if you completely commit to the idea. Don’t get too distracted by what you thought you needed to write in your letter. Really make it from the child’s perspective and you’ll keep it interesting and usually funny for the reader.
5. A letter from your pet. Don’t have kids? Don’t worry, you can send a letter from your cat or dog or other pet. The best letter we’d received last year was from friends who sent a letter from their cat. Animal lovers will appreciate this one but so will those who aren’t.
6. A top 10 list. A quick easy way to give people highlights from the year without going into too much detail.
7. Period piece. Write your letter as if it were 1892 (the year your house you just moved into was built) or the 70s (‘cuz you just bought a VW Beetle) or 1940s (because you celebrated your parents anniversary). Use slang and colloquiums that reflect the time. We received a card recently that had an old-time photo in b/w (where the guys have guns and the girls are wearing lots of feathers and lace). It includes language like: “They dun had a little girl child on the 11th of January. She’s ’bout the sweetest thing if you don’t mind my saying so.”
8. Write a letter with each member of the family writing his own highlights from the year. For young ones, write what they say, not what you want to write for them!
9. Graphic design. If the focus of your year is travel, emulate the look of a ticket or passport for your letter. The birth of a baby, a baby announcement. Schooling, a diploma  or certificate. If you are a teacher, send a ”test” about your year (include the answers, of course)! You get the idea. Have the letter look the part.
10. Exaggerate/parody. Take every day events or important happenings and make a big deal of them (or completley make them up) just for fun. Tell a joke or a story, like many of you do in your blogs, but make obvious where there’s any thread of truth. This especially works if you are aiming to be more entertaining than informative. And your friends and family who know you will appreciate it best. You have to be able to be creative and discerning with this though. When done right, it’s heeeeee-larious.
11. Be real. If you change nothing else, send a photo that has personality, instead of a posed family shot where everybody is smiling and wearing matching clothes. No family really looks like that. I’m guilty of this, too, though. We want to look good!
12. Write a simple letter. Be cautious that you aren’t bragging. Instead, have a conversation with your friends and family, by being transparent about the ups and downs of your year.
13. Photo cards. You know  you’ve seen them. This is the simplest greeting you can send but is still fun to receive.

[Edited to add 10/15/08: Another idea, which would work well for this year is a "campaign letter" (here's ours). Tell all your friends (a-hem, your constituency) about all the great things you did this year. Don't forget "We're the LAST NAME HERE. And we approve this message!"]

We had the perfect conditions yesterday for packing snow, so my daughter and I made our first real snowman. She was excited about taking a picture with it, and afterwards, laughed to herself and said, “I hugged the snow!” She also thought it was heeee-larious that we put food on its face. Surprisingly, I don’t have lumps of coal around so we used broccoli for the eyes and a pea pod for the mouth, as well as a baby carrot for the nose, of course!

For more Wordless Wednesday entries, visit WordlessWednesday.com and 5 Minutes for Mom. 

I love transliterations … when explained to me in laymans terms and when it’s something that’s interesting that makes sense. This was exactly the case on Sunday when my husband and I were guests at a church in our area where some friends of ours attend. The pastor at The Chapel was talking about hell (admittedly not a popular topic, especially at Christmas time, but he made it work).

He explained that of the 12 times (or maybe it was 14) Jesus mentions “hell,” 10 of  those times He uses the Greek word “geenna,” which originally refers to Gehenna, the garbage dump south of Jerusalem. It’s a fit sympol of the wicked place that hell is. Not only was there a flame that burned continuously because of the methane gas, but maggots there feast on the garbage and filth of the land (refer to Isaiah 66:24), which includes the bodies of outcasts who are “buried” there. Clearly not a “fun” destination.

When we decided it was time to move out of our two-bedroom apartment in Crystal Lake and into a house, I never imagined that it would require Divine intervention, but it sure did.

I fell in love with a 1920s cape cod fixer-upper with a big yard located right off the bike trail. My husband feared the amount of work it needed just for us to live there–and there were other issues with it being in an unincorporated area, too. (It’s a bit ironic when we realize where we finally ended up, but I digress.) So, after much debate, we decided to wait. We prayed together for the right place. We knew we’d have to make sacrifices, but it wasn’t right if we both weren’t content with our choice. I cried and cried, grieving the loss of the house I thought I wanted (although more than anything Isimply wanted a house).

Less than a week later, we received a call both from our realtor and friends about a place in their neighborhood that went up for sale that day. We took a tour and knew that this was it! This is a big deal for us because we tend to be quite indecisive, especially the bigger the decision. But we walked through on Wednesday, made an offer on Thursday and finalized it on Friday night. We closed on March 15, 2002.

The farmhouse, built in 1892, is even older than the previous home and has many of the same unique charm that I loved about the other–hardwood floors, original doors, solid construction, two stories, two-car garage, beautiful trimwork. There’s not a right angle in sight, but we love it anyway. This was no coincidence! It also was right off the same bike trail but on the other side of the river and had an even bigger yard. 

Of course, we have no idea what would have been waiting for us in the other neighborhood, but after almost 6 years here, we are in love with our neighbors. We have made many close friends here and have come to enjoy the close-knit community we’ve moved into. Our quiet (well, except during rush hour when people like to speed through our neighborhood as a shortcut!) location in our village’s historic district has led to many opportunities for friendships, neighborly advice and home improvement help. With a park at the end of the street that was recently renovated and homes constantly being remodeled, it’s changing all the time but for the better. As a historic community, there is respect for the homes and for the people and we couldn’t be happier located here.

Now, if we could just finish remodeling our home …  We’ve completed two bathrooms (each complately gutted; one of which I write about on our family site) but a complete kitchen remodel and upstairs addition are in our near future (I hope!).

For more Fun Monday entries, visit the host of this week’s assingment: Kitten’s Homeschool.

If you live in the Chicago Northwest suburbs, have I got a deal for you  (although wherever you are there may be a school nearby). I usually have my hair cut by a friend, it’s free so I can’t beat that price, and she’s very talented. But for the special trip to completely chop my hair and donate the pony tail, I decided to go with another friend who wanted to check out The Salon Professional Academy’s TSPA. Located just south of 90 on Randall Rd in Elgin, this small school provided excellent service. And my hair cut was $9, plus tip.

The girls were great (and I do mean “girls”–I felt  every one of my 31 years, 10 months and 29 days while in the chair). I had a sweet young woman named Marissa. She took her time, as the girls aren’t rushed to get to the next client. My friend also had her hair highlighted and, though it took for-ever, it looked amazing. Her hairdresser’s instructor was old-school and talked my friend into highlighting just the roots to avoid overdoing it, which I thought also showed the desire to do what’s best for the client and not the bottom line. Our appointments were at 9:30 and we didn’t get out of there until after noon, but my friend’s husband was watching our kids (kudos to him) so we were in no rush! If time is of the essence though, this may not be the place for you.

I cut my hair.
I cut my hair.

Did you hear me? I cut my hair. Ok, I realize nobody cares, but this is a big deal for me. My neck is now naked and I am going to have to pull out a scarf for winter because my hair no longer goes much past my chin. I cut more than 10 inches today and donated the pony tail to Locks of Love. I was a little freaked yesterday when I knew my morning appointment was looming closer. But my husband put things into perspective for me. “Should I really do it?” I asked. “Why wouldn’t you?” he responded. “Well, what if I hate it (which is a distinct possibility)?” I whined. He replied matter of factly, “It’ll grow back.” What a perfect response. Am I really that vain that I can’t get over myself long enough to cut my hair off to help somebody else? It’ll grow back–and then I can donate it again!

“Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.” Proverbs 3:27

I learned a little bit about myself today. I took a personality test based on Myers-Briggs  typological approach to personality. I encourage you to take the test, too, and put a positive spin on some of the aspects of your character that you may have even forgotten about. There’s 72 questions so it takes a few minutes, but the results (using the Kiersey Temperment Web site) are amazing, very detailed and fairly accurate. I found myself to be an Inspector Guardian, sounds official doesn’t it? Like a title. Anyway, check it out for yourself: www.humanmetrics.com

Charlie was fascinated with the shiny ornaments at the Winter Wonderland in downtown Chicago. I loved this pic of him with his reflection in a ball bigger than his head.

For a full review of our experience, see yesterday’s post.

For more Wordless Wednesdays, visit WordlessWednesday.com and 5 Minutes for Mom.

For more “Reflection” photo entries, visit iHeartFaces Photography Contests.

Eight adults–four couples–and eight kids–four girls aged 2-4 and four boys aged 1-2–meet in the parking lot of the Barrington train station for the 10:18am train to downtown Chicago, invading a Metra train car, up and downstairs, with bags and winter coats and purses and strollers (6 to be exact) and cameras and food and children. (Some of us parked unnecessarily far away because we didn’t read the Permit Parking only sign in its entirety which stated that available spaces bacame commuter parking spots after 9am). How  many activities could they pack into one trip to the city and what time did they arrive home?

Answer: When we arrived downtown, we had a “quick” bathroom stop then waited a half hour for a trolley that never came, so we hopped on a CTA bus that took us to Navy Pier–again having to pack up all our stuff and squeeze into bench seats.

We enjoyed three hours at Winter Wonderland with its 750,000 twinkling lights on hundreds of beautifully decorated Christmas trees, amusement park rides (Avery tried the Dragon coaster, which almost brought her to tears, the Giant Slide and a trackless train ride) and the Create-a-Cookie Cottage. Although I think most of the kids’ favorite spot was the playground area featuring a long ramp and a couple of slides, which was free.  

None of the kids had any real nap, aside from 10- to 15-minute snoozes in a stroller. But we knew it was time to leave when half the kids are either napping or having a meltdown, and the other half was still bouncing off the walls.

When we left, our single file parade of strollers took on the streets of Chicago. We caught the 4 o’clock news at ABC7, so a few of the taller adults and their kids had a moment of fame on tv. Then we finished our walk to Macy’s to see the Nutcracker display in the windows. We had an early dinner at Italian Village, which was kind enough to accommodate our large party in its restaurant (I apologize to those who were  having a quiet, romantic dinner before we arrived!).

Amazingly, we then made it  back to Ogilvie Station after a brisk walk for the 6pm express train and a quick ride home, which we needed every minute of to solve one big math problem: who owes whom for what and how much? An amusingly complex exchange of money ensued with each of the adults putting in their two cents about how the math should be done.

The train arrived about 6:45pm and after our 20-minute walk to our car in the slush and dark of night, we were able to get home soon after and have the kids in their beds by 7:30pm, a half-hour before their usual bedtime.

In the end, our family was out about $80. But the experience? Priceless.

I hate to have to admit it, but I have see a movie that was the subject of ridicule by Mystery Science 3000. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians may just be the worst Christmas movie ever made, if not the worst movie … period.

Bad plot, bad acting, bad special effects (well, it is the 60s) and bad writing (writers couldn’t come up with more creative names than Momar, Girmar and Bomar (“mom Martian,” “girl Martian,” and “boy Martian”), and my personal favorite moment–the use of the month of “Septober”) . The sci-fi “adventure” includes a man in a polar bear suit, a “robot” made of a silver cardboard box and a cinematic climax featuring an evil bungling Martian who can’t tell the difference between Santa Claus and the Martian leader’s nutty assistant dressed up as Santa. He is then defeated by a band of kids firing ping pong balls and blowing bubbles at him. It seriously is painful to watch.

But, if you want an uncommon, cheap movie to watch with a group of friends who have a sense of humor, this is it. The film ended with a horendously funny little ditty more annoying than Jingle Bells that has the chorus:

“S-A-N-T-A-C-L-A-U-S
Hooray for Santy Claus!”
(I have to state the obvious just to make sure you don’t miss it: the song spells SANTA but sings SANTY and it’s spelled that way on the screen. That is just precious.)

Need I say more? 

Today was our annual Christmas cookie baking day with our good friends. There were three moms and three young girls (as well as a couple toddler boys and one baby!) so we wanted to have them help. This day is more about spending time with friends and having fun while making memories (with flour on your face!) than making perfect Christmas cookies. The yummy treats the girls are able to have fun helping with were:

I have done well the past couple of weeks managing my anger. Although life still isn’t perfect, it felt good. Then, this morning happened. My daughter was upset because she wanted me to wait for her when I came downstairs after she had an accident and had to change her clothes (also very irritating). But my son was downstairs by himself so I couldn’t leave him any longer.

She just wouldn’t let go of it and screamed and cried (she wanted to go back upstairs to recreate the situation so that I could wait for her). After repeatedly saying no and explaining why over again, while she was crying and whining no less, I just go so mad at her that she couldn’t just move on. So, finally I yelled right back at her. She continued to scream and cry of course, and I hadn’t expected it to help but I just couldn’t stand it any longer. Finally, I gave myself a time out and calmed down. Then, I hugged her and held her in my lap while I softly reminded her of my love and expressed my understanding in her disappointment. While we were both still upset, the situation was diffused and we were able to get out the door to go to the grocery store.