BSF and Valentine’s Day

I started BSF, Bible Study Fellowship. BSF is an intense, international Bible study class that takes seven years to complete, if you engage in the entirety of the program. It’s very different from any Bible study or small group I have ever participated in. I am not overly excited nor am I going begrudgingly. I just know it’s something I’m supposed to do. Now. I am feeling the urgency to get my nose in the Word regularly, and the daily homework and classroom setting will keep me accountable. I had received a lot of recommendations from women in the past and finally followed through, taking the opportunity to be obedient. I have to admit, I was motivated partially by the children’s classes they offer. My kids will be learning the same Biblical accounts, hymns and lessons as me. And we get out of the house for a couple hours on a Wednesday morning!

But, I also want my calling to the class to mean something, so I have made some changes to be sure that I read and at least attempt to answer the questions that come with the in-depth study. Wouldn’t you know, we’re studying the life of Moses and my first lesson was on the jubilee. More interestingly, the blessings that come from obedience. Two days after my first session, Matt blind-sided me with a discussion about whether I was feeling fulfilled with my role as a mom in the house (ahem, not something we discuss often at least not on a serious note). I have taken on a lot of new activities lately and have become rather “busy.” Is it busyness for the sake of being busy? We had a great discussion that followed about us and our marriage. And I realized that I had given up on us. Not in the sense that “all is lost” or that we had failed, but that I was fine with the way things were and wasn’t expecting new blessings in our marriage. Turns out I was just being selfish, thinking that it didn’t matter anymore what was best for “us.”

God showed me how wrong I was! What a opportunity to be reminded how blessed I already am and to know that there is always hope for new opportunities to grow in my relationship with my husband. It’s easy to forget after almost 10 years (our anniversary is in July!) and a lot of “life” that gets in the way how much we really do mean to each other. We’re not “room-mates” or even “partners.” We are one, united with Christ by our commitment to love one another and serve Him with our lives. I couldn’t be happier.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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