Well, I kept Avery home from school today (to avoid the Halloween party in her classroom, which I admittedly made the mistake of avoiding earlier in the year and just didn’t know enough about to know what all was going to happen). Right or wrong, I don’t know. But I know I don’t feel guilty about it and Avery doesn’t seem to be one bit bothered by it. She was disappointed to miss out on a day of school, or rather of riding the bus with her friends, but she recovered quickly and we had a busy day of decorating their room like a castle, dressing up, preparing the candy for trick-or-treaters tomorrow and baking muffins.

“ ‘All things are lawful for me,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be enslaved by anything.” 1 Corinthians 6:12

I wasn’t feeling well on Saturday but we had a double birthday party that night. So, while I rested at home, my husband generously took both kids shopping for birthday presents at Target and Best Buy. Because of a leak in my car, the family car, he took his car. It has extra car seats (technically, the ones they’ve each already grown out of) so no big deal. But what it doesn’t have is a box of toys and books between the seats as the family car does. As kids do, they decided to pretend. Great idea! But Avery suddenly says: “He-ey! I wanted the Blues Clues game!” Charlie of course responded, “No! My want it.” Finally, dad had to reach back and take the imaginary toy away. lol! I couldn’t make this stuff up.

I was so busy being concerned about how Avery was treated on the bus that I didn’t even think about the fact that SHE could be the bully. Okay, she’s not exactly, but we have had some new issues come up that make her a bit of a “meanie.” Today she immediately said that a boy, whom she named but I don’t know him or his parents just that he’s in her class, was “bothering” her and her friend on the bus. I immediately was concerned but asked probing questions only to find out that he was just talking to them. He wasn’t sitting with anyone on the bus so we talked about ways to be nice and include him because maybe he just needed a friend. “Do unto others …,” as it is written.

“Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them.” Matthew 7:12

Ugh. Potty training. It has to be the most horrific part of parenting. I can only hope that this serves to help parents survive the teenage years. It can’t be as bad as potty training, right? Right?!?!

Well, I’ve given up on night-time. He had maybe 3 accidents in the first 10 days overnight. But two nights ago, he came to our room 3 times, and still had two accidents. I was patient, thinking it was just one night of getting worse before it got better again. But, he had an accident again last night. So, I put a pull-up on him. The cardinal sin of the 3-day methodology, I know, but we are way past 3 days now … and I want some sleep.

The good news is that he has gone in public restrooms once each of the past three days: at the mall, at the town hall where I was voting and today before class at BSF.

At the mall, we made a couple stops at the bathroom before he finally went (unfortunately all over the floor but I will gladly clean up that mess over an accident in the public eye in the kids playing area!) So, the next day, when we went to vote, I waited as long as possible. He could audition for Flashdance with some of his moves, but he wouldn’t admit that he needed to go. Then, I was so proud of him today at BSF because I was nervous about him being in class in underwear. So, we got there early (yay me!) to stop in the bathroom first and he was able to go without all the dancing around. And, best of all, no mess! Woot! He also has several times in the last few days done everything himself, telling me he has to go, sitting on the potty and, uh, ensuring that he didn’t make a mess. BUT, has an equal number of times that he has an accident or does make a mess so we have a ways to go. So long as he continues to show forward progress, however, I consider it a success.

Related Posts
Potty training: One month later
Day 3: Potty training
Day 2: Potty training
Day 1: Potty training

Okay, day 3 was a nightmare. I was at the end of my rope. For two days, I was positive and cheerful, no matter what. I. just. couldn’t. do. it. again. Thankfully, it was Saturday, so my husband was able to step in while I “checked out” for a bit, so to speak. So, the 3-day plan definitely did not work for us. The good news is that Charlie continues to make some progress, he’s peeing less often and he’s letting me know when he goes or when he has to go. He bad news is he doesn’t want to sit on the potty. Since I don’t force him, he still has accidents.

I’ve decided to continue keeping on. I’ve been told by more than one person to take a break, maybe he’s not ready. But I feel that will do more harm that good. He’ll find that throwing fits “works” and we’ll both dread trying again so it’s likely to be worse the second time. Today, day 6 technically, he has asked to sit on the potty calmly a few times. But he’s “all done” before he’s done anything and soon after has accidents. But, he did poop in the potty today, so that was VERY exciting! One step backward … one step forward!

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Potty training: One month later
Day 14: Potty training
Day 3: Potty training
Day 2: Potty training
Day 1: Potty training

I was frustrated before the day began so I had a feeling today wouldn’t feel as successful as yesterday. I decided to try a slightly different approach, to reward Charlie for going, not for being dry since he did have a successful experience yesterday. So, there was less candy. Phew.

But, he peed constantly, hitting both rugs downstairs, and he had one delightful runny poo that dripped everywhere as I tried to hurry him to the potty. He did, however, pee into the potty three times. YAY! Unfortunately, he screamed and cried the entire time. Each time, I spent about 10 minutes consoling him in my lap afterward, before I could begin the rewards process, which included bigger pieces of candy he hand picked, as well as the biggest, most interesting stickers I could find in Avery’s sticker book, since they were new to him (and by then he would have big smiles and be really proud). Before he went to bed, we were able to talk about it and I think it’s that he doesn’t like the little potty chair (I had the same issues with my daughter). He said it hurt his butt. I was using it only because it was the closest, since he was usually in process of peeing when I’d have him on the chair yesterday. But today I would set him on the chair while changing into dry underwear when he’d pee just a little, and then he would pee for real. So, I think he’s getting the hang of it, and tomorrow we’ll set him on the big potty (with an insert) to see if that takes care of that problem.

He also progressed to letting me know when he had already peed. And during supper, he got up and told me he had to pee, doing a potty dance, although he begged me not to put him on the potty.

At nap time he stayed dry in his bed again so I am ecstatic about that. And while I had to change sheets once overnight, it was when I went to bed so I didn’t have to get up to do it in the middle of the night.

Tomorrow, I’ll just keep on keeping on and hope that he gets it. We seem to be making progress!

Related Posts
Potty training: One month later
Day 14: Potty training
Day 3: Potty training
Day 2: Potty training
Day 1: Potty training

We are coming off the worst week of sickness in the history of the Mason family. No one was spared in this horrific series of colds/fever/cough and, yes, even some throw-up. Avery is still lethargic today and I have the ever-lasting headache. Thank you, Debbie for the delicious soup last night! Nevertheless, the stress of WAITING for the day to start potty training, because I am dreading it so much, was just too much for me to take. I figured we are housebound still anyway, so I might as well try it. We’ve already spent a few days training one of my daughter’s Dora dolls to pee on the potty (my son really got a kick out of this) and she finally earned her present for filling up her potty chart.

Now, I’m starting the 3 Day Potty Training method by Lora Jensen. So far, I have not been nearly as attentive as I am supposed to be. However, progress is being made. Several weeks ago, I started just putting underwear on him hoping that Charlie would be upset about wetting himself. He decidedly was not. BUT, today he has come to me every time he has had an accident if I missed it (more often than not). And, best of all, he stayed dry during his entire nap, came down crying and peed just before and during the time I had him on the potty. That is considered success! We celebrated with “MM Guy” (M&Ms, which at one time came in the little container shaped like an M&M Guy; he used to call them “Yummy Ms.”), which he specifically requested. Of course, he also got his first present (a Hot Wheels car) and a sticker on his potty chart.

It’s been a steady stream of candy, juice and pop all day, as I reward him any time I ask and he is dry. The hard part is that he is asking for more candy every few minutes. Otherwise, it seems to be working … Now, if I can just get him to actually pee in the potty without making a mess at the same time … :)

In other news, we were reading a princess book together this morning when Charlie pointed at Cinderella and said, “Mommy!” Of course, I accepted the compliment politely. Then he went on to say, “You a princess!” I think he was buttering me up for a day full of candy!

Related Posts
Potty training: One month later
Day 14: Potty training
Day 3: Potty training
Day 2: Potty training
Day 1: Potty training

Dear Lord,

In Jesus’ Name,
AMEN

“I don’t like you you.” Have you ever had your little one say this to you? Thankfully, my kids haven’t yet, but I get a lot of “Grrrrr” and stomping feet when things don’t go their way so I am sure those days aren’t in the too distant future. I remember once when I was about 7 months pregnant with my first baby, my niece, who was maybe 3 at the time, said “I don’t like you” to my sister. Being the emotional, hormone-crazy prego that I was, I cried. What a devastating thing to hear from your child! It was even more powerful than if she had said “hate” I think, because she seemed to really mean it. My sister, unfazed, scooped her up (mostly to remove her from the video game at Best Buy that she wanted to play) and nose-to-nose said, “Well, I like you. I love you. I decided a long time ago to love you.” I couldn’t believe it! What a perfect response. Even though she brought me to tears, she got no emotional reaction from her mom.

Well, I’m telling you this because I am throwing one of these tantrums myself right now. I am fuming in the corner with my arms crossed, saying “I don’t like you” to God. I know it’s because I am being immature and selfish, things just aren’t going my way the way that I think they should. It’s especially frustrating when you can’t see the whole picture. I want to know the whys and the hows. How is everything going to work out for the best? In my limited view of the world, my past, present and future, all I know is how and why I would like things to happen. My niece didn’t understand that the game was too advanced for her and she would get frustrated with it, and that we had other fun things to do. All she knew was that there was a fun game with characters she recognized on a computer and she wanted to play, play, play!

So, here I am, waiting, peeking ever-so-slightly out of the corner of my eye, waiting for His reassuring hug and an “I love you.”

We had our first trip to the ER while I was on vacation visiting family in Iowa. Thankfully, it was nothing serious. The kids were horsing around just before bed time and Charlie hit his head on the wall. I told them to settle down then decided I better get there pjs and get them ready for bed … before someone gets hurt. As I am coming back from getting the pjs, I hear Charlie hit his head again. This time on a wall corner. I didn’t think too much of it until I approached him and he turned around … A big, fleshy gash on his forehead. Yikes! There was quite a bit of blood and we decided the best way to treat it is to take him to the ER. The poor kid has had enough going on with his head that he doesn’t need a big scar on his face before he’s reached two! Anyway, the ER was close and we didn’t wait long. We were in and out in about 45 minutes. A dr “superglued” the cut with liquid band-aid. I was relieved he didn’t need stitches. And the glue was great. I didn’t have to mess with cleaning or bandaging the cut for almost two weeks. There were quite a few comments about me being in the ER a lot with “this guy.” Sigh. I hope they are wrong!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Not sure what I think about this: Huntley preschool has Messiah on the move.

I’m just not sold on the idea of embodying Jesus in a doll. Does it give children the wrong idea of who or what Jesus is? I love the idea of sending a doll around the country though, it’s a great way for the kids to learn. I also know Jesus’ omnipresence is a hard concept to grasp so I understand the need to try to put Him in a box. But, that will be all the harder to “undo” as the children get older. Beth Moore once said in her Believing God Bible study, “If you send your children to [a Christian] school to learn a little something about God, they might learn that God is a little something.” My point is, no matter where your children are being educated, be sure you are involved so that you can be involved in their education and their spiritual growth.

Our Bible study discussion was derailed the past couple weeks as we discussed a tangent on idols. Even as Christians we tend to make idols of seemingly good things, such as Jesus dolls, the Bible or becoming like Christ. We have this tendency because our human nature wants to be in control. We obsess about, “what can I do?” and end up in a self-help mentality instead of focusing on Jesus has already done for us. If we rely on our knowledge, our action, ourselves, we lose the necessity of Christ in our lives. Our goal instead should be simply to know God and let him do the rest. Strive to be yourself, who God created you to be, in Christ Jesus.

Three of the past four days, my daughter has thrown the biggest fits I have ever imagined. I’ve always known she was emotional and passionate, but she has just begun to show her true “color.” I’ll give just one example.We were leaving the mall yesterday just before lunch time and she was whining about one thing after another. She didn’t want to leave. She wanted to be held. She wanted to ride in the stroller. She wanted me to push but nobody else. Push with two hands, not one. Finally, we made it to the door. Now she wants her mittens, but they are in the car. She doesn’t believe me, so she whines and pouts her way through the parking lot. I find her mittens but now I don’t give them to her because she hasn’t asked nicely for them. That really set her off. So, now she’s screaming and thrashing her body so it takes a while for me to buckle her in her car seat. She screamed and kicked the entire way home, not so much about the mittens now but just trying to get my attention. “Mom-mmy! Can you hear me? Mom-mmy! Look at meeeeee when I say to you!” As she’s kicking the seat, she loses a flip flop. Now that’s her number-one demand: “Get my shoe for me! Now! Mom, get it!” Ha. Like that’s happening. I tried to reach it so I could put it in the front seat to show my lack of cooperation, but couldn’t. So, eventually, I took the shoe off her other foot.

After some time passed, she seemed to calm down and she asked politely for the shoe. I handed her the one I had removed. Clearly, not the way to go. She threw it at me! I was so shocked, I couldn’t believe it. In retrospect, I should have pulled over right then and there to spank her, but I wasn’t in a place that made that easy. So, I yelled something motherly like “How dare you throw a shoe at your mom?” Adding a loud, emphatic “grrrrr” to emphasize my displeasure. We drove the rest of the way home with me fuming and her screaming. At some point, I threw the remains of my Ice Mountain water at her. Good or bad, I am not sure, but it’s about the only thing she remembers from the car ride (other than the fact that she wanted her mittens and “I threw a fit”). When we got home, I put her straight to her room. She came downstairs 20 minutes or so later for lunch after she calmed down. She had screamed so hard that she broke capillaries in her face.

She didn’t nap that afternoon, which is happening more and more all the time. So, when she wanted to come down early, I put her down in my bed and laid beside her so we could talk about what happened. I cannot stress enough the importance of talking with your kids about their (or your!) breakdowns. I’m always amazed how smart she is when it comes to talking about what happened and what she could have done differently. And I know I didn’t handle the situation perfectly, but it’s always a victory if I don’t beat her senseless. Honestly, there was so much more that I wanted to say (um, scream, actually) that I can know that God had laid the foundation for that very moment. All of the testing and counseling and reading and praying was in preparation for such a time as this.

Unfortunately, who knows how long she will keep it up, so I’ll be praying that He’ll give me the strength to persevere (as much as I want to give up sometimes!).

“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” Hebrews 10:36

From “Illinois Judge Blocks Parental Notification Law” from CitizenLink:

An activist judge in Illinois has ruled that teens can continue to get an abortion without telling their parents. Illinois is one of 35 states with parental-notification laws, but the 1984 law has never been enforced. Joe Scheidler, national director of the Pro-Life Action League, called the inaction an injustice.“We’re talking here about parents knowing that their minor daughter is having dangerous surgery — sometimes lethal surgery,” he said. “And the courts believe that the parents shouldn’t even know about it.”

Sandy Rios, president of the Culture Campaign, said the Parental Notice of Abortion Act is crucial because Illinois is a magnet for women seeking an abortion.“We have all of these young girls coming from our border states to get abortions because they don’t have to have any parental notification,” she said. “There’s just no law, no regulation. And those of us in Illinois are ashamed of that situation. The law is very clear. We had a law that was passed by the state Legislature years ago. And we can’t get it enacted because of the judicial activism. It is a disgrace.”

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14-15

Two of my best friends have boys who are just a half-year or so younger than Avery. We get together often to play during the week. One of these boys, especially, is naturally more aggressive than my daughter. It’s been an issue in the past because he likes to push her buttons and she likes to scream. It’s one of those love-hate relationships for sure. We’ve noticed lately, however, that they have been getting  along great. Either way, they’ve always loved to play together and often ask about each other.

Suprisingly, my daughter recently said she didn’t want to play with him because “sometimes he hits.” It was a tremendous opportunity to teach her to pray for her oppressors–although his actions usually aren’t malicious, Avery just seems to get in the way when he’s excited or intense. Then, on Friday, my daughter was on the bully side of this equation, in a sense. At Target, we passed a 1-year-old girl being pushed in a cart by her mom. She had long wispy hair, no doubt her mom was growing it out, and a rather large head, but nothing unsightly. As we turned the corner to the next aisle–thankfully!–Avery commented, “That girl looked like Eyore.” What?!?!? “Eyore. The donkey.” I was so shocked that it was only by God’s grace I was able to hold it together and say simply, “That’s an interesting observation, but you have to be careful how you talk about other people because you might hurt their feelings. Everybody is different.” Obviously, no maliciuos intent here, but it was an opportunity to guide Avery’s thinking toward God’s standards and seeing people as God sees them.

No matter the circumstance, we need to take these opportunities to teach our children. Parents sometimes give children a keepable standard, but the Bible says to do good to those who mistreat you, instead of ignoring the behavior, laughing at others or–gasp!–fighting back. It requires God’s help to do that sometimes. But when you fail to hold children to God’s standard, you rob them of learning the mercy of the Gospel.

Read more about this kind of life lesson in Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp. It’s a must-read for all parents of preschoolers!

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who persecute you.” Matthew 5:44

With the gift-giving season fast approaching, I was inspired by John Rosemond’s New Parent Power! book to reduce and rethink my approach to toys. He writes, “Today, we overdose [kids] with mass-produced toys that stimulate relatively little imaginative thought.” So, I am going to evaluate my kids’ toys for their play value: Does it require creativity? Can it be transformed from one thing to another? Does it encourage manipulation? If not, it’s gone! [This also works for evaluating which toys to buy for the kids on your Christmas list.]

I have always been selective with toys for my kids but I wasn’t really sure of the criteria I was looking for. Rosemond’s book really opened my eyes on how to keep toys to a minimum and, thus, actually have kids spend more time in independent play! It makes so much sense when you think about it.

I couldn’t believe how many toys we got for Charlie’s first birthday this fall. It seems that since he’s the second kid–and a boy–people were more apt to buy toys with bells and whistles, but they were one-dimensional. Both my kids were impressed with the toys at first, but within a couple weeks, they were “done” because they had quickly exhausted all the creative possibilities. 

Rosemond writes that kids are overwhelmed by all their toys and become bored with them precisely because they have so many. I saw this first-hand with the pile of toys that began to take over our living room. I had never seen Avery so “bored” and requesting tv as she was the past couple months. I attributed it to her age and to my weakening resolve not to watch tv (which is probably partly to blame, too) until I read this book.

Today’s toys often do only one thing, which limits kids’ ability to use imagination and creativity. And instead of solving the problem, parents continue to buy new toys to satisfy their boredom, which makes the problem worse. Did you know that, according to Rosemond, many toy companies make toys with puropsefully–and profitably–short life spans because the average American child is a toy addict? Rosemond continues, “Why make toys that last when the average child is more concerned with getting than with the quality of what’s gotten? Most toys are designed to attract a child’s attention and curiousity but not to hold his or her interest.” This is why children lose interest in most toys really quickly.

Rosemond recommends instead: Legos, Lincoln Logs, Tinker Toys, Erector sets, art materials, dolls, blocks, trains, cars, small plastic figures, books and other “classic” toys that stand the test of time. These are the kinds of toys I am putting on my kids’ Christmas list … as soon as I go through their many other toys that have long been forgotten! Part of the process also will be to reorganize the toys that we keep. This will likely take many Tuesdays between now and next year because it requires reorganizing the office and closet, but just to minimize the number of toys will make a huge difference.  

Read more Tacke it Tuesday entries at 5 Minutes for Mom.