I have been struggling recently with the desire to go back to work. Not that I want to work, per se, but I reazlied I am craving the satisfaction you get from a job well done … and noticed. I have been a stay-at-home mom for three years now. Before that, I worked, and I was good at my job. It was satisfying and was the source of most of my self-worth.
Being a mom is definitely rewarding, don’t get me wrong, but it’s hard. We’re going on instinct most of the time and often are second guessing ourselves. The frustrating part is that it’s when things don’t go well that they are noticed. Whatever is going well gets forgetten quickly. There isn’t a lot of positive feedback, promotions or a raise … Not even the occassional performance review!
I finally decided not to go back to work because I remembered being with my kids was more important, but I wasn’t fully okay with it until I reflected on John 13:3-5: “Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. So, he … began to wash the disciples’ feet.” Jesus had so much confidence in his identity in God the Father that he could humble himself to wash his friends’ feet (who, in this passage, were arguing about who among them was the greatest), a task not even suitable for the lowliest slaves. The passage even implies that His service was not despite of his highness but that it was the reason behind it.
Thankfully, I can be confident in my identity in Christ to humbly serve my family and have confidence that I am who God says I am. By finding my worth in Him, and not in the world–or in financial security or beauty or even sucess as a mom–I can show the full extent of my love to my husband and my kids, and let God’s glory be revealed.
“He now showed the disciples the full extent of his love.” John 13:1