Unfortunate cookies

Since when did fortune cookies become so incredibly lame? I used to anticpate opening mine (not that I thought it had any true meaning but it was fun), but for some time now I have come to realize I have absolutely no expectations for grandiose wisdom or fortunetelling within. Was I just that immature in my past or have the sayings only recently evolved into nothingness? The modern schoolyard add-on “… in bed.” doesn’t even help anymore.

We were with friends Friday night to play games, so we had Chinese delivered for dinner. The “fortunes” inside weren’t fortunes by the loosest definition of the word. They weren’t even classic proverbs or quotes.

My “fortune” was “The issue isn’t what you’re saying; mostly, it’s the way you say it.” This was probably the most relevant since I actually am a writer. But it loses its affect considering my husband’s advice was “My way or the highway!” He doesn’t need any encouragement.

But then there was my personal favorite: “Great! You are ready for a party!” What does that even mean? With each of these, I feel like I am eavesdropping on someone’s conversation but I’m only catching one side. I think the best use for these would be to save them and write a script piecing them together. Then maybe they’d actually make some sense.

Anyway, it got us thinking about what would be really funny is some “unfortunate” cookies, where you turn the tables on your friends: “Today’s your unlucky day.” Or “You shouldn’t have eaten that.” Or “You’ve got broccoli in your teeth.” I’m sure you can be much more creative … It turns out there is something like that already, of course (we figured). You can make up, share and print your own unFortunate cookies at www.itsunfortunate.com. Have fun, but good luck getting it into a cookie!

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