I have done well the past couple of weeks managing my anger. Although life still isn’t perfect, it felt good. Then, this morning happened. My daughter was upset because she wanted me to wait for her when I came downstairs after she had an accident and had to change her clothes (also very irritating). But my son was downstairs by himself so I couldn’t leave him any longer.
She just wouldn’t let go of it and screamed and cried (she wanted to go back upstairs to recreate the situation so that I could wait for her). After repeatedly saying no and explaining why over again, while she was crying and whining no less, I just go so mad at her that she couldn’t just move on. So, finally I yelled right back at her. She continued to scream and cry of course, and I hadn’t expected it to help but I just couldn’t stand it any longer. Finally, I gave myself a time out and calmed down. Then, I hugged her and held her in my lap while I softly reminded her of my love and expressed my understanding in her disappointment. While we were both still upset, the situation was diffused and we were able to get out the door to go to the grocery store.
As I reflected on these moments while driving, I was frustrated because I thought I had “taken care of” this anger thing. I had gotten cocky and tried to rely on myself again. God reminded me that I have to continually ask for his help in my areas of weakness–daily, moment by moment, if necessary. It is when we put our guard down that times like this always seem to creep back into our lives. It’s so easy to let that happen. We need to be aware of our vulnerability to sin and be proactive in preventing and handling situations that trigger that sin. For me, that means going back to square one: reading God’s truths and praying for his help because I cannot do it on my own.
“Give us each day our daily bread.” Luke 11:3