Bully on the bus

I was so busy being concerned about how Avery was treated on the bus that I didn’t even think about the fact that SHE could be the bully. Okay, she’s not exactly, but we have had some new issues come up that make her a bit of a “meanie.” Today she immediately said that a boy, whom she named but I don’t know him or his parents just that he’s in her class, was “bothering” her and her friend on the bus. I immediately was concerned but asked probing questions only to find out that he was just talking to them. He wasn’t sitting with anyone on the bus so we talked about ways to be nice and include him because maybe he just needed a friend. “Do unto others …,” as it is written.

I was thankfully particularly sensitive to this because last week when we went to the park to meet friends we’d made the plans with, my friend’s son was disappointed to see that Avery brought her school friend with her (we impromptu invited them to join us). He was right to be concerned because the two girls walked right by him without so much as a hello. Keep in mind that this is a friend Avery plays with multiple times a week. They’ve had a love-hate relationship since they were 2. Anyway, I talked with all three of them to be sure they were introduced and they played for a few minutes together before lunch. Later, Avery needed to use the restrooms off-site of the playground area and when we were heading back, she ran to meet her girlfriend. Her other friend called out to her and ran to catch up, and Avery completely ignored him. I’m so glad I noticed, so I followed her. I walked passed her poor friend sulking (being a bit dramatic but obviously sad, and rightly so). I immediately told Avery to go to him and invite him to play. She hesitated but thankfully her girlfriend went to him and they all ran off to play Hide-and-Seek.

It’s important moments like this that I am glad to be at home and aware of what’s going on around me so action can be taken to explain appropriate behavior. We talked about both situations several times. She knows what it’s like, she’s been on the other side before (also not a fun situation for a parent :( Were this to manifest itself when she’s older and I’m not there to guide her, I can only imagine what kind of a “meanie” she’d be.

“Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them.” Matthew 7:12

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One thought on “Bully on the bus

  1. Sara,
    You’re doing a great job of taking care of the problem as it’s happening instead of reacting to some bigger problem that arises later. We have recently adopted a 15 yrs old and 5 yr old brothers from foster care. We already have a 2 yr old girl and 6 tr old boy.

    It’s important for my wife and I to catch the way the 15 yr old treats his siblings. Sometimes it’s not what he does but the atitude or intent behind what he does that we have to deal with. Our goal is to try to correct the “heart issue” when problems arise not just the action.

    You’re doing great with the kids, keep up the good work!!

    On a business note, I believe one of my small retailer clients would be interested in paying your website $10 by PayPal in exchange for a small hyperlink in your right navigation (under a category titled “Links” or possibly a new one like “friend sites” or “Supporters”). Let me know if this is of interest to you & I can give you their name & web address & have payment sent within 48 hours.

    David

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